Usually, the speeches will be after the meal and before the cutting of the cake. If your speakers are likely to get very nervous, you could break with the tradition and have them before they eat. This way they might enjoy the food more and be more relaxed.

TIPS

Remember, you don't have to stick to tradition - just make sure you are comfortable with what you want to say.

Preparing:

• Read your speech out over and over again - in front of a mirror, or another person.
  You could even record yourself and listen to make sure you sound clear and that you are not speaking too fast.
• Do not plan it the night before, give yourself plenty of time.
• Create a beginning, a middle and an end.
• Write a few copies of your speech out (even if you think you know it off by heart) in case you loose it before your time comes.
• Prepare cue cards.
• Make sure you have pauses. You could write "pause" if you are going to be reading your speech from written words. Or if you have cue cards, leave a blank card in wherever you want a pause.
• Time yourself. 5 minutes is enough (when you time yourself you may be surpassed that your speech is not actually very long)
• Even if you feel you know your speech perfectly, you might forget it in the excitement of the day - have a copy of it with you just in case
• Keep jokes short so that if no one laughs, you can move on quickly to the next bit!
• Make sure you are not referring to anything that some of the guests may not know anything about - and if you do, explain it to them.
• Do not include swear words, or anything that might possibly cause offense.
• Check with other people giving a speech that you are not going to be repeating a story they plan to tell themselves.

On the day:

• If you get nervous, remember that you are doing this because you are close to the bride and/or groom and your speech is only a very small part of one important, special day.
• Don't drink too much before your speech - you are more likely to remember it and project your voice properly if you are sober.
• Take your time, don't rush. If you speak too fast or mumble, people won't be able to hear what you are saying.
• Remember to breathe.
• Make eye contact with the guests - but don't glance around the room, look at each one individually for a couple of seconds.

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

The Father of the Bride speaks first. This is because, traditionally, he usually pays for the wedding, and therefore acts as host. You are speaking on behalf of you and your partner (or the Brides Mother)

Some things you might like to include:

• Comment on the success of the wedding so far - perhaps mention any amusing mishaps.
• Thank anyone who has helped to pay towards the wedding.
• Talk about your daughter - how proud you are of her, and include any short stories of her teenage years or childhood.
• Officially welcome the Groom to your family. Perhaps tell the story of when you first met, and what you first thought of him.
• Mention that you are looking forward to getting to know the Grooms family better - or if you already know them well, then share any pleasant experiences you have had together.

Conclude your speech with a toast to the Bride & Groom.

GROOM

Traditionally the Grooms speech will be in-between the Father of the Bride and the Best Man. You are speaking for both yourself and your new wife (if she has not given a speech herself). Some couples make a joint speech.

You might like to include some of the following in your speech:

• Thank anyone who has helped with the day - e.g. the person who has made the cake or the reception venue staff etc.
• Express your happiness on this day - perhaps tell the story of how you met your new wife, who made the first move and so on.
• Say something that is directed to your bride and how you feel about her, and your expectations of your future life together.
• Thank everyone for coming on 'our special day' and mention any guests that were too ill to come - send them best wishes.
• Thanks to the bridesmaids, flower girl, pageboys, both sets of parents, and so on and hand out gifts.
• You might like to mention your best man, in order to introduce him to the guests - you could show concern that he may embarrass you in his speech.

Finish with a toast to the bridesmaids.

BRIDES SPEECH

The best thing about making a speech for the bride, is that there are no traditions. You can say what you like and you can speak when you like - you are not trapped by any expectations, unlike the other speech givers.

However, here are a few things that you might like to include:

• Thank your guests for coming - especially anyone who has travelled a long distance.
• Thanks to anyone who has helped with the planning for the wedding, and thank any bridesmaids, pageboys, flower girls - and hand out presents.
• You might like to mention your Mum, and your relationship with her, especially if you are close.
• Express your excitement and joy of being married to your new husband (maybe tell a story about how you first met or got engaged) - a personal message from you to him.
• Thank your new in-laws for welcoming you into their family.
• Thank the guests for the gifts.

As a way to finish, you could toast the guests. Often a bride and groom will make a joint speech.

BEST MAN'S SPEECH

The Best Man's speech is the one most people look forward to the most. Traditionally, you will speak last, after the Father of the Bride and the Groom. (By this point the guests will have drunk quite a bit of wine!) The expectation is that you will humiliate the Groom with some embarrassing stories of his past, however you do not have to do this. Only use humour or make jokes if you are comfortable doing so. If there is not a toastmaster, you will introduce each of the other speakers By name and role (Father of the Bride, etc.)

These are some of the things you might like to include:

• Thank the Bride and Groom for your (and the Bridesmaids) gift.
• Read out any messages from friends or family who could not make it to the wedding.
• When telling stories about the Groom, try not to use offensive language or say anything that might upset the Bride!
• Talk about how you met the Groom, how you become best friends, and that you can see that he is very happy with his Bride.
• You should address the Bride and Groom directly to wish them congratulations.
• Often the Bride is left out of the Best Man's speech - you could mention the first time you were introduced or how lucky the Groom is to have found someone as caring/beautiful/special as her.

You finish by announcing that the bride and groom will now cut the cake.

CHIEF BRIDESMAID OR MAID OF HONOUR SPEECH

Although it may seem unusual, there is no reason why your Chief Bridesmaid or Maid of Honour can't make a speech. In America, this is quite normal.

However, because this is not so common, you can really say whatever you want, and choose to make the speech whenever you want. You are not restricted to any traditions.

These are some of the things you might like to include:

• Thank the Bride and Groom for your gift.
• Comment on the success of the wedding so far
• Tell a story about the bride - how you became best friends / how you are related to her (try not to say anything about her past that may upset the groom!)
• Talk about how you met the Groom, and what you first thought of him - and how happy he has made your friend or how lucky they are to have found each other.

Address the Bride and Groom directly to wish them congratulations.